As I lay here on top of a bag of ice in excruciating pain, I can't help but reflect on my current blessings...although the VA pushed me beyond my tolerance (to the point where the cops on duty would get up every time I walked into the VA office because I would get so loud), the Lord answered my prayers and I finally got my lump sum. Let me clarify that my faith hasn't always been strong. Growing up I attended mass only because I was forced to. Through the years I always prayed on my own time but after MS I was angry enough to renounce my faith, because MY God wouldn't do something so horrible to me. It took me 2 years to understand my illness, myself, and my faith. Many say God only gives you what you can handle and I've always joked that He must think very highly of me, but the more I say it, the more I believe it. All my trials and tribulations were, I understand now, were because God does have a plan for me to become a great psychologist. Now I can say (although its a huge no-no to share your personal life to your patients) I can say, I know how you feel because I've been there myself.
Anyways, enough about me. God has taken my vision because I couldn't see with it, He took my walking ability because He wanted me to get on my knees, He has turned my words into gibberish because that was all that I was really saying. I heard the message loud and clear, I ended up in Catholic mass listening to a message I swear was written for me, I dropped down on my knees, I cried, I said my prayers and I saw the word of the Lord.
My blessings didn't end after my VA compensation, I then received a call from the job in Maine I had applied for to have a phone interview (I have my second one on Tuesday). Today I quit my job here in Hawaii which is on all accounts an enormous relief because it's just full of drama. My husband and I have found a townhouse in a remote location in the country with an owner that already is just so sweet I would love to have him as a landlord.
In a couple of weeks, my husband and I will be departing what I have considered MY HELL and intend on taking a drive cross country. My heaven, my cool moments in the snow in Maine will begin shortly, and for that all I can say is "THANK YOU LORD!"
Keep believing and God Bless,
Emme
Michelle, God only knows how much I'm going to miss you :( Although we didn't spend a lot of time together (which I'm regretting) I feel like you're that sister I never had. You have managed to touch my heart on sooo many levels. I had faith before we met but to personally witness God's faithfulness so clearly at work in your life has graduated my faith to another level!! The Lord definitely orchestrated our meeting! Though our time was short here in HI it doesn't have to end.....Love you Girlie
ReplyDeleteMichelle, although we never discussed it openly, I'm sure you could have guess that I've never felt it necessary to be a part of an organized religion. I have faith in many people and things, mind you, but not in a religious way. But I have faith in you. I have told you before, and I say it again, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. You inspire me. You've been dropped in the ocean thousands of miles away from any land and you still swim. Well, keep swimming, I say! The field needs you! We all need you.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you and Britt! Good luck with the move and ENJOY the drive across the country!
Mike - IVC
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