"I remember that face that use to look back at me in the mirror, the strong, stubborn girl that never showed any fear. I can see her eyes filled with anger and determination, feel her will to live and make sure her wish was never contested. I remember her smile and secret joy of life, her desire to make a difference until the day she died." Michelle D.
I may still be here alive and kicking, but I do feel as if I died in Afghanistan the moment I lost my vision. I never understood why the doctors struggled so much to tell me I had multiple sclerosis, why nurses in the hospital all felt obligated to hug me after I found out, until now 5 years later. I have since regained my vision but now wait to lose it again, deal with the ALL DAY leg pain (both or either or). I talk a lot about my illness, not at all to get pity but because I want to educate people, motivate them even because if honestly emotionally weak me can overcome this then I believe everyone else can overcome what comes their way as well. I wrote that poem, amongst many others, back when I first got diagnosed and had sworn I would only release them AFTER my 8 years as President of the United States, but since I don't have the energy nor the patience to try to become President, here's one! I wish I could say that I have the strength, well for anything really, but I honestly don't. Hours of my legs falling asleep, of them not wanting to even move, of my hands thinking they have Parkinson's Disease, of my entire body burning from the inside out doesn't leave me any desire to do anything. I've used what I have learned in psychology so far and I can tell you that I have 2 coping mechanisms, I get angry OR I start cracking jokes about my disability either way I can tell you this illness brakes me down like I never knew possible. So this is to me the beginning of the end, because thanks to America not believing in stem cell research or actually spending good money to find a cure, I know that today (a very hard day for me) is the best I am going to be. MS IS a different day every day but I do know that today is the best day of the rest of my life because unfortunately it is all downhill from here.
So if you are reading this I hope I have been even just a tiny piece of inspiration for you, because deep down that girl is hiding, waiting to come out in order to help but in psychology now because yes people still need me, but not to lead as much as to help! God Bless!
