With how shitty I have always thought my life to be, there was always
something there looking out for me and even in days when I've denounced
my faith, religious people I have met along the way have always asked,
well do you at least believe in Angels?!?! And I always thought "what a
silly question, do I believe in angels, of course I believe in
angels!"
I can tell you, I always knew my guardian
angel was a male because I "heard" him sometimes before a song when the
disc jokey has signed off and "someone" says this one is for you....it
was always a song I already loved but hadn't heard in awhile. OR I "saw
him" in a dream perhaps, but you know when some dream feels so real
that it wakes you up??? Yeah, he woke me up one night, when I was
sleeping in the base that had once belonged to Hitler's Air Force during
WWII (talk about scary). I was informally living in a guy friend's
room while he was deployed, who also had a roommate...the best roommate
I've ever had if I'm honest. Who knew, that one guy whom I had never
really dealt with, until I needed to move out of my room because of a
bad roommate would make such a difference in my life. So anyways, I'm
wasting time, Mike we'll call him, was dating a German girlfriend, whom
he broke up with every weekend, so every Saturday he was would show up
and wake me up to vent about the girlfriend, but while I was starting to
see the beginning traits of MS, on that one Saturday that I had that
dream that woke me up, I thought it was Mike again, so I yelled at him,
NOT TODAY! I went back to my "safe zone" of hiding underneath my
blanket (how many of us, weren't told to hide from the 'cucucky' and go
to sleep??? So I hid from the bad guy and started saying my prayers and
in between prayers, I all of a sudden realized that what had broken me
up was not Mike, but a German Soldier (yes I know, now I believe in
ghosts - don't judge me I was raised by Mexican parents that only got to
5th Grade) but I swear to you, that's who I saw, a German Soldier that
was just staring at me, with this curious look trying to figure out how
this girl with black hair had gotten into his bed.
Now, to quote Paul Ryan's mom, "You have 2 ears and only 1 mouth, so use
them accordingly." And just like the congressman said, I haven't
always applied that advice myself...impatient spicy Latina that I am, I
inherited my dad's father's traits of borderline personality disorder
that creates illusions of grandeur that makes you believe you know the
right way, and if anyone you care about refuses to see things your way,
you become Hitler himself! This stupid illness of mine walks a think
line between acting like Hitler and acting like Mother Theresa
So
what am I trying to say? Well, the older I get the more I realize that
I've had angels all along the way, my second grade teacher (thank you
for teaching me I was a princess), my third grade teacher (thank you,
for following Wong's path), my singing teacher for finding my voice, my
6th grade teacher who put up with our BS (right Vannie), Chris my Negro,
(thank you for thinking I was too precious to want more than just a
sabor a mi), Valle (thank you for teaching me just how bad a rose can
make you bleed...may we never meet again), Mike U. (thank you for
picking up the peices to my heart and putting it back), Nano G. (I'm
sorry, for the lost years, but I am happy to hear you have found the
one, thank you Mrs. G for making him happy), thank you, to all of you
that I met in Afghanistan, for the hard times, for the laughs, miss you
angels, Charlie), and thank you to my family from AIT for always making
me feel like home! Mike C. thank you for believing in me so much,
you've made me believe in myself, and to the college military guys
thanks for being in my unit! Britt, thank you for teaching me that
looks really are skin deep, for being the best accountant I could ever
ask for, you really do deserve the world! And Ted, thank you, for
coming back into my life
when I need you the most, this time please don't leave again!
P.S. I realized that my Guardian Angel is my Great Grandfather whom I
never had the pleasure to meet and YES to answer the question asked to
meet in Thanksgiving, it has driven insane to really figure out which
one I would prefer to be, and while I love the Maria idea and it is very
much in me, I have discovered who I really am....I would tell you, but
then I'd have to kill you! :)
God Bless,
Emme
